My biggest goal as a parent is to help my kids develop emotional resilience, to make them mentally strong and to equip them with tools to be able to handle the ups and downs of life. in this article, i want to talk about how i build mental resilience in my kids.




Mental health is a topic that is very very close to my heart. i know that a lot of mental health issues in adults have their roots in childhood years. so i want to do everything that is in my control to make sure that my kids grow up to be mentally healthy and mentally strong adults.


Our kids go through a lot of anxiety and stress, it could be social anxiety, it could be peer pressure, bullying, self-image issues, feeling different from others, it could be stress related to their studies or exams, there's so much going on. so in these unprecedented times, it becomes even more important for us as parents to support our kids and to prioritize their mental health.


I'm going to share with you seven mental health tips in this video. these are things that i do with my kids to help build their emotional resilience and their mental health.


  • Tip number one be a good role model.
  • Tip number two help them practice gratitude. 
  • Tip number three help them develop self-love. 
  • Tip number four meditation and mindfulness. 
  • Tip number five teaching them to process their feelings and emotions. 
  • Tip number six give them space.
  • Tip number seven read growth related books with them.


1. Be a good role model.


I know, as a parent it's very tempting to just teach your kids by lecturing and i do that too, to be honest. it's so hard not to. i feel that as a parent, i have the license to lecture my kids! but lecturing rarely works.


Teaching by example and being a role model is way more effective. so what i like to do with my kids is to think out loud in front of them, whenever i'm dealing with a problem or i am confused or sad or angry. so i want them to observe firsthand how mom deals with things going wrong, or how mom deals with failure. it is especially important for me that i show them how i feel and how i deal with failure. and the lesson i really want to instill in their minds is that it's okay to fail. 


You just have to learn the lesson from your failure and move on. i love the quote "there are no mistakes, only lessons". i often share this quote with my kids.


2. Help my kids to practice gratitude.


For this reason, i have purchased.. i've recently purchased gratitude journals for my son and my daughter. and i have them write down things that they are grateful for in those journals. 


Not always do they have time or the energy to write down, so on days when they don't feel like writing, i will just have them verbally share with me three things that they're grateful for, that day. the reason this is important is that being grateful, having an attitude of gratitude is a trait of mentally strong people and it also helps you build a growth mindset.


When you are grateful for the things that you have, and not just focusing on the things that you want to have or the things that you're missing in your life, it helps to promote your mental health and make you more more positive and happier individuals.


3. To inculcate self-love in your kids.


Self-love is a skill that is so important to build. it is so important for your mental health and your future mental health as an adult, to have self love. so one of the things i do and this is something i read in a parenting book a few years ago, is that for every negative reinforcement that you give to your child, you have to give them at least four positive reinforcements.


So there has to be a one is to four ratio. so whenever i see them work hard or achieve something, i make sure to praise them and i also make it a point to not just praise in a way that i tell them oh you're so smart, i try to avoid using the words like you're so smart, or you're so pretty, or you look so pretty. so the compliments that i prefer to give to my kids are oh you did really good effort. or oh you worked really hard and i'm so proud of you. so you always want to be praising their hard work and their effort as opposed to how smart they are or as opposed to the result that they have achieved. 


While giving them the positive reinforcement, remember to focus it on the effort and not the result of the effort. because going forward in in their adult life, the result of what they do is many times outside of their control. but by reinforcing their efforts, you're helping them to build a strong work ethic and perhaps less attachment to the result and less attachment to things that are outside of their control and more... more emphasis on the things that are within their control, which is their actions and their hard work.


4. Introduce meditation and mindfulness in your kid's life. 


I have introduced my kids to meditation and mindfulness. i'm not very hard and fast about it. it's not like they have to sit down and meditate every day, but we do talk about it, they see me doing it, i again teach them by example and by being a role model. recently i have used apps like calm and headspace because they have short two minute or five minute meditations for kids. so sometimes we sit down and play one of those guided meditations and do it together.


5. Process their feelings and emotions.


This one is a big one. this is so, so important for their mental health. the need to process your feelings and emotions is very important, to build your kids mental health. unprocessed emotions can cause a lot of issues as they grow up and it can lead to some mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.


It's very important for me to help my kids understand the importance of processing their feelings and emotions. and what do i exactly mean by that? so for example, my kids... first of all they need to identify their feelings... so especially the negative ones. so if they're feeling sad or angry, i want them to know, to accept and to acknowledge that i'm feeling sad and that it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to cry. and i have a son and a daughter. and i make sure that i even give this message to my son that it's okay to cry.


Because a lot of times, society makes it so that boys should not be cry, or boys are not supposed to be weak. or sometimes our society thinks expressing emotion as a sign of weakness. and that is something so, so wrong with the society. both boys and girls need to be able to express their emotions, process their emotions and to cry. there's a reason why the suicide rates are so much higher in males than females. i think it's because boys have been raised to be... you know... strong and macho and oh, we don't express our emotions and we don't cry. 


But i think that is so crippling to the to the mental health of men. so i make it make it a point to tell my kids, it's okay to cry, it's okay to express your feelings. in fact, i encourage them to talk about their feelings when they're sad, and when they're speaking, i listen with my full attention. another thing i tell my kids, is that all feelings are meant to be felt, fully felt, and processed. so if they're feeling sad, i don't rush them to get happy or get normal. and this is something that i have been guilty of doing in the past. so if my kid is crying, i would you know give them a candy or give them a toy to distract them.


Because it's bothering me more than it's bothering them that they're crying. so i was in a rush to move them to a normal state or a happy state. but now i have learned to give them the time and space to process that sadness, get over it and learn to calm themselves down before they return to a normal state or a happy state.


A really, really good movie that i love is called Inside Out. it's a kids movie. it's a disney movie i believe. and i love that movie because even i learned a lot of things from that movie, about feelings and emotions. so in that movie, they show that... you know... they represent sadness and happiness and all the feelings with characters, and we learn in that movie that even sadness is important.


Even sadness has a role to play. so normally we just think about... you know... happiness is the thing to feel and that is the goal. but no, sadness has a purpose. sorrow has a role to play in your life, and it needs to be felt. it needs to be processed. so that's a movie i would highly recommend for you to watch with your kids. so as much as i have said all this about you know being there to help my kids process their feelings, and being there to listen to them, do i always listen to every single rant and complaint i get? no.


My biggest pet peeve is... you know... the non-stop sibling rivalry that happens between my son and daughter. and pretty much every day i get complains about... how come she got that and i didn't get that. and this is not fair and that is not fair. so i don't necessarily address every little thing that is brought to me by the kids. but.. and in those cases, in in the case of you know.. little things that they complain about, i will often say something like... go figure it out yourself. or talk it out with her and settle it.. or you know... i'm busy right now, i'm working right now, i cannot deal with this. 


Many times i have to say that but i make sure that for the bigger issues, for example... you know bullying or if they're you know more hurt, like deeply emotionally hurt, i will stop what i'm doing to take care of them and to to to be available to listen to them and help them process what they're going through. 


6. To give them space.


I talked about being there for them to help them process their emotions, being there to listen to them and encourage... encouraging them to talk about their feelings. but that doesn't mean that you always have to do it for them. 


Sometimes the best thing to do is to just give them space. so for example, sometimes if i know that my daughter is hurt because... you know a toy got broken or something, i will tell her that... why don't you go in your bedroom and you can cry if you want, and you can you know meditate if you want, just calm yourself down and once you're feeling okay, you can come back to me. so sometimes giving them space is also very important because as much as we want to support them, we also want to help them learn to help themselves, and be independent and learn how to calm themselves down. 


One of the ways is i'll tell them go and you know take a few deep breaths or um... yeah sometimes you have to leave them alone for for their own betterment.


7. Read books with your kids.


And i'm talking about growth related books and mental health related books. there are lots of books out there, really good books on this topic. and kids connect with books and the characters in books.


I find that reading these kind of books with them is a great way to build their mental resilience. i like to sit with them and either read the book to them or have them read it to me, depending upon the level of the book. and it's a great bonding opportunity for me to bond with my kids. so now i'm going to give you a quick summary and recap of what the seven tips are to make your kids mentally strong.



if you found this Article helpful, please share it and also if you have any other tips for mental health for your kids, please be sure to write them in the comments below so i can learn and other viewers can learn from you. keep growing!.